Annual

[zotmeister]

It's amazing what can happen in a year. I find it difficult to believe that I've actually kept this journal for that long "already", but sure enough, there it is - Disambiguity, right where I left it. That trite little introduction served mainly as a warning; I figured that my journal would be largely unsafe for the general public, and I suppose that I still largely feel that way. Nonetheless, just over a year later, not only am I still updating it, but others are still reading it, and more than just those I knew beforehand.

Now I suppose that there are those that are here only for the puzzles. I can't say I blame them. In fact, I encourage them. I put the puzzles tag on those creations of mine, and I'll often give out to others the link to that tag rather than my journal as a whole... along with a warning: "You read the rest of my journal at your own risk.". I'm okay with that; I see no reason why they should feel compelled to suffer through my bouts of too-much-information to get to what they'll really enjoy. And enjoy it they do: I'm getting solutions emailed to me from Europe, and perhaps beyond; just today, glmathgrant started up a fan journal... or is it a competitor? Although I didn't expect the puzzles to occupy this great a percentage of my journal at the onset, I don't mind their popularity, and I hope they continue to entertain.

Yes, I am getting to a point. Like all my other anecdotes, there's a reason I'm mentioning all this. So why the annual report? Well, I consider most every article in my journal as an "active" one; obviously, I write and publish them at a specific time, but the anecdotes, self-revelations, puzzles, and such are not intended to expire. I invite new readers-and/or-solvers to peruse my back catalogue for entertainment, inspiration, and whatever other positive affects they seek. It's a wonderful feeling to get emails from new solvers, especially when they solve more than just the latest puzzle; to see that they took the time to experience my earlier wares and study all I had to offer is quite satisfying. The feeling I got yesterday upon checking my email notifications, however, was truly endearing.

I consider my puzzles "safe", in the sense that they aren't loaded with tripe. I didn't exactly have a lot of confidence in my more anecdotal entries, such as those that I began this journal with; they serve mainly as a clearinghouse for my mind, a means of organizing my thoughts for myself. I reread those articles on occasion, mainly to see if I have anything to add or change and to see if they are still pertinent. They are written without regard to the tolerance levels of others; it defeats the whole purpose if I withhold truths. I'm not going to hold back here any more than I'd hold back on myself. With that in mind, I tend to be a bit fearful of others diving in.

Of course, diving in can happen. The articles are public - the doorway is open, and anyone brave/ignorant enough to march on in can do so and read me like a book, almost literally. Last weekend, that's exactly what happened: one of my intrepid puzzle connaisseurs took the plunge and read Ineffability. Now that certainly wasn't the first time it was read - it had four comments, after all... but those were from people who know me personally. Indeed, who else would be aware of my journal at that time, right? But now there's a fifth comment on the article, from someone who bravely went back and decided to learn more about me. The very presence of that comment tells me two things:

The article was read.

The reader did not immediately storm away, never to read my journal again.

That alone is more than I could hope for, but the comment itself was glowing. My words were not merely tolerated; they were appreciated, perhaps even admired. Perhaps to some of you it is merely a comment, but to me it is a revelation. It made me realize something else, as well: e wasn't the only one. My emails and other communications have shown that others are more than just 'accepting'; 'honored' would be more accurate.

I never expected my journal to be condoned, much less celebrated. I never expected it to be viewed by more than a few who already knew me. And I certainly never expected it to be celebrated by new acquaintances!

Believe me, the honor is mine as well. To everyone that has been reading my journal - or any subset thereof - for any period of time over the past year, I deeply thank you. My trek I will undertake alone if need be, but I am greatly appreciative that, at least at present, I do not travel alone. To everyone that has communicated with me regarding my journal, take this article as what it is: the greatest representation of my immense gratitude that I can express.

I also promise I won't turn this happiness into pride, either; I know better than that. That would be a disaster.

Oh, and one other thing: those of you who remember my first article - be it from a year ago, or from moments ago having followed the link above - may note that I mentioned short fiction being among that which I'd be presenting here. You may also note that I haven't yet. I intend to remedy that soon. My recent "rediscovery" of my earlier work for The Sanctum Puzzler has gotten me wanting to get back to storytelling. I also hope to present a few more select anecdotal articles should I find sufficient courage to go through with them - and thanks to some new friends, I now have a sizeable chunk of just that.

- ZM

P.S.: Leave it to me to write a journal article about the journal, right? An article about a comment to another article, no less. I'll be buying Doug Hofstaedter's books at this rate.

Comments

[gilbertj.livejournal.com]

Honestly while I do read your posts for the puzzle content I am far more interested in your short fiction.

[unknownforce.livejournal.com]

I'm highly interested in seeing the short fiction myself. Being a fan of short stories and writing, interest in others work comes only natural.

[jezendar.livejournal.com]

I see glmathgrant has made some alterations to your Seeking Syren background story; talking about 'Captain Zotmeister searching for his homeworld, Somewhere Else', rather than 'Zotanna Terran searching for Syren Lyght'. I thought your homeworld was named 'Somewhere', and 'Somewhere Else' was your first colony? He also renamed your puzzle 'nebulae'. It would seem that you are not the only one who tends to rename puzzle designs...

As for your 'bouts of too-much-information', I have yet to see this occur; obviously you need to try harder.

[zotmeister]

I actually discussed Seeking Syren with em; I suggested Astral Maze as an alternate name, but e came up with that background story on es own. E did ask me if I had a better name for the homeworld than "Someplace"; of course, Somewhere Else is my home as you should know. The astral nodes of my design are called nebulae in es; as far as an actual title, he doesn't seem to have used one. This is all in the comments to one of es puzzles.

And if you read Denotation without thinking it TMI, you're creepier than I thought. Be careful what you wish for... - ZM

[jezendar.livejournal.com]

In all honesty, having just reread that entry, I still say that I have yet to see an example of TMI (although some parts do come pretty close). There are two reasons for this:

You've actually given the first reason in this entry. To quote: "I'll often give out to others the link to that tag rather than my journal as a whole... along with a warning: 'You read the rest of my journal at your own risk.'" This, along with the warning in your first entry, informs people, in advance of reading entries, that some entries, shall we say, "May not be suitable for public viewing." For me, TMI occurences involve an element of suprise; in other words, they come without warnings. Although I was not present for it, I suspect the game of Rumors that you mentioned in Denotation is an example of this. Despite the game's nature, the other players clearly were not expecting such a revelation and a TMI occurred, with one player being very literally 'floored' by it.

The second reason is my own curiosity. I have the curiosity of a cartoon character, and am very good at finding information about things that I ultimately decided I didn't want to know about (insert Cthulhoid Things-Man-Was-Not-Meant-To-Know reference here). These unwittingly self-inflicted TMI's have strenghened my psyche versus potentially disturbing ideas and images, and ultimately allow me to take such things in stride. I don't believe this makes me creepy, but it probably does make me 'creepier than you thought'.

When all is said and done, triggering a TMI reaction from me within a LJ post will probably require violating the Terms of Service agreement.