zotmeister (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
zotmeister) wrote2006-08-22 07:53 pm
zotmeister) wrote2006-08-22 07:53 pm
Entry tags:
Saving Sanity: Perplexed at the Pump
Hello and welcome to Saving Sanity, a new feature here on my journal where I'll be defending sanity and helping everyone live a better life by answering the hard questions - questions so hard that they weren't asked. Rather than explain, I'll just dive right in and let you figure it out. The first question should have come from an apparent tourist to my fair state of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations:
Dear Zotmeister,
I was at a gas station in Middletown today when, after just leaving the car wash and about to drive away, I could have sworn some random stranger going in to the car wash gave me the finger! Just what could have caused such a rude farewell? Is everyone like that in your state, or what?
Sincerely yours,
Perplexed at the Pump
Perplexed:
I certainly can't speak for my entire state, but it's quite possible that a sizeable percentage of us - I suspect most! - could have done that. It's a sorry truth. Right now, perhaps more so than ever before, our civilization is just plain rude. Lynne Truss, in her recent book Talk to the Hand, goes into great detail about how people today are ludicrously uncivil. However, I'm not going to talk about the problem; I'm going to talk about the solution, and it's really quite simple.
Sure, courtesy can often be seen as hollow posturing, meaningless gesture, pretend caring. In many cases, it really is hollow. However, behind courtesy is the concept of consideration. It's not about the actual niceties, the physical acts, the words we say; it's what we're actually thinking about and reacting to that matters. Forget the rules of "etiquette" and just try to think how you would feel in someone else's position: Am I being needlessly hurtful? Am I giving off a bad impression? If we consider each other, we won't need courtesy - with the foundation of niceness firmly in place, the resulting actions will come perfectly naturally, and we'd never seem rude to others because we'd never be rude. If we all, as a country, learn consideration for one another, we can do away with this sort of rudeness once and for all.
So the next time you're pulling into a gas station, and there's a car behind you, pull forward to the last open pump, asshole! We don't put up with that sort of shit around here. You're lucky the finger is all I gave you; some other Rhode Islander in a truck may have just shoved your car to the next pump. That would have taught you. Honestly, doesn't anyone's parents teach manners where you're from? And you're in, what, your late forties? For the love of sanity...
Grow a brain,
Zotmeister
That concludes this first Saving Sanity. Future installments will be posted roughly every time they're fucking needed. - ZM
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Best thing is to not let them get on your nerves. No need dwelling on all the follies of humanity. If we do, we'll be caught up our entire lives on it.
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(Anonymous) 2006-08-23 04:53 pm (UTC)(link)-- Ian
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The intentionally obnoxious, on the other hand, tend to make a lot of enemies very quickly and as a result don't last very long. That's not to say they're safe to deal with. That's also not to say they're not getting cleverer: just this morning on the way to work I encountered a new variety of asshole - the driver who waits to make a left hand turn until the green arrow turns amber. As the guy right behind em, it seemed plain as day to me that e was very much doing it on purpose; e was making some sort of gesture with his hand out the window as if e was trying to say "Wait for it..." to everyone around, and es head was almost out the window with it, the proverbial excrement-eating grin clearly visible. I'm glad I didn't need to turn left there. I'm also glad that at least the first two cars behind me didn't need to turn left, either. - ZM
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It could just be, however, that I've more often seen you exposed to (and therefore annoyed by) lack of common sense than by cruelty.
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Don't read this unless you can stand a little friendly ball-busting...;)
Yeah, so I'm like hosting a party in a few days, and this one invitee in particular seems to totally have a little problem with RSVP-ing. Perhaps courtesy is not as contagious as we'd hoped? Or maybe e's just a tad socially oblivious...
Sincerely yours,
Hostess sans Headcount
(Sorry, I couldn't resist that. Seriously, though, I hope I'll see you Saturday :)
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It is a sad fact that some people live tumultuous lives, not knowing what the future has in store, littered with a myriad of scattered obligations, floundering against the flow of time and hoping to grab a foothold and claim a stake for oneself. In fighting that battle, certain things tend to slip out of reach, especially when they're dependent upon the knowledge of others that remains unshared. Having to wait to find out key information can be torturous.
I, however, have learned a very valuable lesson regarding what to do in such circumstances. It minimizes hurt feelings without sacrificing gravitas. Here's the rule, and it's actually quite simple: don't commit yourself to what you can't guarantee.
So maybe, just maybe, the reason you haven't heard back from me yet is that I honestly and truly still don't know if I'll be able to attend or not. I have a lot of work to do both for my employer and at home, and I have no idea how much will still remain to be done tomorrow. It's been a particularly bad month for me in that regard, really; I've just started getting a foothold again. I promise I'll let you know as soon as I figure it out.
In ignorance, not malice,
Zotmeister
P.S. That was hard. This "double meaning" writing is tricky...
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Sean
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It's no big deal, really. I was just joking with you. Well, I'm sorry to hear that you're so stressed recently, and I hope everything works out. However, if you do find that your scattered obligations are too numerous and prevent you from gracing the rest of us with your presence, please don't worry about it. The weather sounds like it's going to suck out loud anyway. But know that you will be sorely missed!
Take care,
me
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