First and foremost, I'm delighted to be shown this window into other aspects of your mind and the way you think--and the sort of fiction and humor you enjoy.
I certainly see this as having potential as an honest-to-logic (I refrain from saying 'honest-to-God' out of respect for the fact that this is your lj), money-making novel.
With respect to the gender-neutral pronouns: I've been exposed to them before, and even had some conversations with you about them. As a result, I wasn't particularly thrown for a loop. One noteworthy exception: Whenever you use the word "em," I often confuse it with "'em," the slang for 'them.' I know you don't often use slang, but it's still an ingrained habit. This made for a highly amusing initial mis-reading wherein I thought that Sam killed five dozen men with one shot ('dropped em with one shot').
WRT the font types: I didn't notice them at all, regrettably. I'd recommend against this being your only differentiation of who is speaking.
WRT the colors: Hmm... On a livejournal, it's delightfully outside the box. It takes some getting used to. Once you get past the initial confusion, however, it makes for an interesting variety. A problem may occur if the number of characters present over the course of the story outnumbers the number of easily distinguishable colors. 'Green' and 'Pine green' may prove problematic. I doubt this is going to be a problem, however, as your style seems more Terry Pratchett than Tom Clancy. (That's an observation, not an insult or compliment. However, I hope it's taken as being closer to a compliment). The problem occurs when you seek to get this published. Your publishers may find it highly cost-ineffective to include more than one or two fonts, or colors for that matter. It may be a case of thinking too outside the cost-effective box.
WRT your word 'colloquially:' Laconically? Earnestly? Sympathetically?
Now, as for how I see the characters:
Mike: I see him as intellectual, not physically possessing, but not quite nerdy either. His dialogue, perceived intonation, and outlook in particular conjured up a very specific image: Brendan Frasier in "The Mummy" and "The Mummy Returns."
Spencer: The 'my testicles' line for some reason made me think of Jayne from 'Firefly' and 'Serenity.' Though I tend tho think of just a generic, disposable thug.
Trevor: A less generic, less disposable thug. I see him as coming from the streets but not failing out of school. I can see him being played by Xander Berkley, famous for playing crooked characters with a very healthy (if frequently unsuccessful) survival instinct.
Sam: Okay... I'm not counting this as a spoiler, simply because I have zero knowledge of the background or ZTM's thought processes. Let's classify this as an 'outside-the-box' guess that may or may not be accurate. Anyone not wanting to see these outside-the-box guesses, feel free to skip this paragraph to the next one. I see Sam as one of two incarnations. First, I see Sam as an attractive woman with long hair. 'Sam' can imply either a male or female name, and your gender-neutral pronouns do a delightful job of not revealing this. It would make them a plot point in addition to a political statement. My second idea is that Sam does not exist: Mike is rigging up an automated rifle or laser targeting system and finds it convenient to invent a fictitious partner.
Okay, welcome back for those of you who have decided to skip the previous paragraph. To sum up, I enjoyed this piece and greatly look forward to the next one.
no subject
First and foremost, I'm delighted to be shown this window into other aspects of your mind and the way you think--and the sort of fiction and humor you enjoy.
I certainly see this as having potential as an honest-to-logic (I refrain from saying 'honest-to-God' out of respect for the fact that this is your lj), money-making novel.
With respect to the gender-neutral pronouns: I've been exposed to them before, and even had some conversations with you about them. As a result, I wasn't particularly thrown for a loop. One noteworthy exception: Whenever you use the word "em," I often confuse it with "'em," the slang for 'them.' I know you don't often use slang, but it's still an ingrained habit. This made for a highly amusing initial mis-reading wherein I thought that Sam killed five dozen men with one shot ('dropped em with one shot').
WRT the font types: I didn't notice them at all, regrettably. I'd recommend against this being your only differentiation of who is speaking.
WRT the colors: Hmm... On a livejournal, it's delightfully outside the box. It takes some getting used to. Once you get past the initial confusion, however, it makes for an interesting variety. A problem may occur if the number of characters present over the course of the story outnumbers the number of easily distinguishable colors. 'Green' and 'Pine green' may prove problematic. I doubt this is going to be a problem, however, as your style seems more Terry Pratchett than Tom Clancy. (That's an observation, not an insult or compliment. However, I hope it's taken as being closer to a compliment).
The problem occurs when you seek to get this published. Your publishers may find it highly cost-ineffective to include more than one or two fonts, or colors for that matter. It may be a case of thinking too outside the cost-effective box.
WRT your word 'colloquially:' Laconically? Earnestly? Sympathetically?
Now, as for how I see the characters:
Mike: I see him as intellectual, not physically possessing, but not quite nerdy either. His dialogue, perceived intonation, and outlook in particular conjured up a very specific image: Brendan Frasier in "The Mummy" and "The Mummy Returns."
Spencer: The 'my testicles' line for some reason made me think of Jayne from 'Firefly' and 'Serenity.' Though I tend tho think of just a generic, disposable thug.
Trevor: A less generic, less disposable thug. I see him as coming from the streets but not failing out of school. I can see him being played by Xander Berkley, famous for playing crooked characters with a very healthy (if frequently unsuccessful) survival instinct.
Sam: Okay... I'm not counting this as a spoiler, simply because I have zero knowledge of the background or ZTM's thought processes. Let's classify this as an 'outside-the-box' guess that may or may not be accurate. Anyone not wanting to see these outside-the-box guesses, feel free to skip this paragraph to the next one. I see Sam as one of two incarnations. First, I see Sam as an attractive woman with long hair. 'Sam' can imply either a male or female name, and your gender-neutral pronouns do a delightful job of not revealing this. It would make them a plot point in addition to a political statement. My second idea is that Sam does not exist: Mike is rigging up an automated rifle or laser targeting system and finds it convenient to invent a fictitious partner.
Okay, welcome back for those of you who have decided to skip the previous paragraph. To sum up, I enjoyed this piece and greatly look forward to the next one.
Jim