I definitely found the gender-neutral pronouns distracting, though I understand this is a political issue for you. It was also distracting that you switched back and forth from past to present tense.

Your writing reflects much of the rest of your personality -- specifically, even your prose is a puzzle. (Or maybe I'm just dumb. I had to read it twice, anyhow.) Is this a running series, or a one-shot?

Ethan